Saying No Politely

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Although most people understand the importance of boundaries, many find it incredibly difficult to say no. We worry about disappointing others, even when agreeing means sacrificing our own wellbeing. My friend Priya, who is one of the kindest people I know, used to accept every request until she burned out completely.

Priya eventually learned that while being helpful is admirable, it should not come at the expense of her health. She started practising polite refusals, and although she felt guilty at first, her stress levels dropped dramatically. Whereas she used to say yes immediately, she now pauses to consider whether she genuinely has the time and energy.

Her technique is simple but effective. Even though she cannot always help, she acknowledges the request and offers an alternative when possible. For example, whereas she might have agreed to plan an entire event before, she now says, “I cannot organise everything, but I would be happy to help with the invitations.” This approach allows her to be supportive without overcommitting.

I have adopted similar strategies at work. Though my manager sometimes asks for extra hours, I explain my existing priorities calmly. While I want to be a team player, I also recognise that exhausted employees deliver poor results. Setting limits, I have discovered, earns more respect than constant availability ever did.

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